Funny Ideas for Dating Profiles

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But boy oh boy, have your photos made my day on more than a number of occasions. Also if there are multiple girls it could send the wrong message. Once Kate realized that porn was not her replacement and Tom felt less ashamed about his habit, the couple talked more easily about their sex life.

Also, leave exotic animals alone. But if I do put one up it will be very apropos because of what I do.

The perfect online dating pictures for men and women

But for the general good of the online dating world, and to hopefully offer some help to all of those handsome bachelors out there considering a bathroom selfie, I would like to offer this helpful little list of 10 photos guys should NOT post for online dating. Yes, yes, I know that we girls have our own set of cliche photos hello, feet in the sand? Now before you all start emailing me about being Judgy McJudgerson, please know right off that this is all in good fun. Grain of salt, people. But boy oh boy, have your photos made my day on more than a number of occasions. The Bathroom Mirror Selfie Or usually — the string of multiple bathroom selfies. Often with wardrobe changes. And mind you, always with a toilet in the background. Oh men, I know that the bathroom is probably the home to the largest mirror in your house, so I get why the bathroom selfies would theoretically be a good idea. Remember though that this is our first impression of you. And where do first impressions take place in real life? Definitely not in your bathroom. So step away from the shower, hand your friend a camera, and let us see you in your best non-bathroom light. And if sports or working out are big parts of your life, then awesome — post that classic photo of you and your buds crawling through the mud to the finish line or playing volleyball or biking in that triathlon. But the sweaty guy pics and your bench press number can, um, stay at the gym. The Man Without A Face Ok, we totally get that you often wear sunglasses or hats when you are outside. Cheers to hipster apparel and protecting your skin and eyes from those harmful UV rays, right? But when it comes to posting photos online, just nix them both. Because the eyes are the window to the soul right? We want to see nothing less than your soul. And swam on the beach! And scaled an iceberg in Alaska! And hiked Machu Pichu! And worked with the Peace Corps in Africa! Ok, ok, maybe post one or two for travel cred. But otherwise, focus on the photos that have you in focus, and save the rest for a little photo slide show on date night 3 at your place. Then we can snuggle up and you can tell travel stories for hours. Way more fun, right? What is it with guys and their cars?!? Ok, I know, rhetorical question. We just want to know that you have some wheels to drive us to dinner. The Ex-Girlfriend Crop Double points if Photoshop was used to blur or blacken the ex out. Triple points if you crop out girls on either side of you. So the solution to this one is easy — just find some other great photos to post! Trust us, anything will be better than the awkward unidentifiable blonde hair on your shoulder. So why it seems reasonable for you to throw half-naked photos all over your profile is a wee bit perplexing, to say the least. Keep it classy, San Diego. The Hunter Bloody dead animals that you shot and killed and hold up as a trophy for the world to know that you know how to hunt? And I know that many of you No-Shave-November fans are in it for a good cause. Not worth the risk. But this final one is just a little reminder that your online dating profile should be advertising you, not your favorite beer. Maybe just a bit of a red flag. So put your coozie down, and grab a glass of water every now and then. So save that long string of dog photos for your Instagram feed. Ok, a couple of those are cool. Shows you have a social life. Do you have friends? Do you care about other people? A sociable mix is definitely a good idea. If it is, then congratulations, and please note that with a caption. Do you really want to share that information with the entire online world? I tried online dating a few times in the past, and am sure that my lovely profile pics went check-check-check down the upcoming girls edition of this list. But hope you enjoy. Also, big thanks to a bunch of friends for chiming in on the topic. And BIG thanks again to Nate for being a model-for-an-hour. I suspect someone as handsome and successful as Nate would have success with even these photos. Well, except for the mustache one. So I guess with that the car and beer photos and dog photos are also fine. The really up close mustache one was hilarious- like an invite to check out his nosehairs. I doubt that, cheeseball! However the problem we guys have is you ladies do not practice what you preach; How many of you ladies post pictures without caking all of that makeup on? Without that fake eyeliner, blush, and shading on? It seems we have a contradiction here!! The woman with the blurry photos 2. The woman with all her friends in each pic so you really have no idea which one is her. The women who show only head shots…what are they hiding? No need to answer. The pics from 5-10 years ago. Yes, please, one more car selfie 7. Pics from strange angles, any angle, to hide the… Happy dating!

You can compliment me in the first message. And were you there. Without that fake eyeliner, blush, and shading on. Just don't let those less flattering photos outnumber the ones that prove you're way hotter than Quasimodo, even if you think you're being hilariously ironic. I also made sure to hightlite the key words that get the most elements. Unfortunately, through a combination of hormones and immaturity, I learned to perfect this system into one where I could convince nearly any girl at all — from the shy bookworm to the bubbly cheerleader — to become fascinated enough with my persona that they would Do online file websites work. So rich that your mother will be begging me to marry you. I took time to respond to their messages, but I was deliberate with all of my interactions and made sure not to let their interest wane. Hard day at work and you anon want to be touched?.